{I am.}

THIS BLOG IS STAGNANT AND BORING .......TIME FOR SOMETHING FUN AND DIFFERENT.........

NEW LOOK 

NEW Family PICS throughout this post

NEW SONG

NEW POST

So turn it up

I am:  me. I am 35. I am a mother. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a wreck sometimes. I am trying. I am imperfect. I am impatient. I am frustrated sometimes. I am tired.  I am learning. I am growing. I am in love with my husband. I am HAPPY. I am striving, growing, learning every step of the way in this life....

I am so thankful for my family....

I am thankful: for everything... right now especially that our primary presentation is over and it went so good:)

I have: parent preschool snack tomorrow morning and don't have a clue what to make,  I  wanted to make something amazingly halloweeny but that's not going to happen...

I know:  that everything happens for a reason whether we understand at the minute or not....and whatever it is there is always a lesson to be learned.

 

I think: time goes by so fast that sometimes we forget to enjoy what we are doing now. that we don't sit and talk and play enough and I think there a far to many distractions along the way that take away from the family and our lives.

I don't think: sometimes.

I want:  to move to the country live in a big house with a big wrap around porch gabled windows, a farm sink a big kitchen and room to run and play for hours.....and every little detail I've pinned on pintrest ha ha! But really thats all a dream all I really want is my kids to grow up happy, strong, intact with a testimony and with the least amount of pain possible! and To know how much they are loved.

I like:  {love} spending mornings with just K2 he is my little bud. I {like} summer nights, camping boat days, walks runs, music, family, road trips, getaways, new shows like biggest loser, terra nova, x factor, revenge

I dislike:  being late, kids dawdling in the morning or watching tv or stealing wii remotes when they should be getting ready for school,making everybody have to hurry and rushing out the door so they don't miss the bus when the things I want to get done with them before they go don't get done....sets the tone for the day...

I hate:  being so impatient about certain things sometimes, I hate that its hard to be in charge, sometimes its just hard to please everyone and get it right the first time live and learn right.

I dream: about what a little me and D would look like ....{yeah your right probably a darn good thing we adopted ha ha:) love my cute big girl.....can't believe how big she is getting....I have so many dreams for her and I hope they all come true....Love you L.

I fear:  accidents,  death of one of my family, and something happening to my kids beyond my control...... this  is a sick sick world we live in.

I am annoyed:  That sometimes those negative voices we all let in sometimes or comparative voices that say "I'm uglier than I thought" or chubbier than I thought or I can't do that or I don't make things like that my house isn't good enough whatever it may be...I hate when those thoughts creep in....somebody wants us thinking that way and it ANNOYS me!!

I crave: a getaway. i wish. Europe calls my name {someday}

I usually:  spend to much time on here and have a love /hate relationship with it to be honest. I try hard not to get on here till everything gets done then I spend to much time before bed on it! Seriously I'd love to be a pioneer and live off the land and make my own things to survive sound fun? Yeah we have it easy or harder what ever way you look at it.

I search:   for answers on my knees daily.... for my life.... our life...our kids...our families..... primary....I wish it was easier to find the answers but at least I know where to look to get started..

I wonder: what people think sometimes? seriously?  or don't?

I know:  WHEN WE DECIDE TO MAKE RIGHT CHOICES AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT WE ARE BLESSED FOR IT.{Speaking of I AM SUPER EXCITED FOR SOMEONE CLOSE TO US WHO IS TAKING A BIG STEP AND A BETTER PATH IN HIS LIFE TOWARDS WHERE WE ALL WANT TO BE IN THE END. Because in the end we only have our choices to look back on to where we are today. One person us has all the power in the world to take one path or the other.  
US.

I just can't help:  always cleaning up my house after everybody and even before people leave my house sometimes its just a habit....

I regret:  not traveling more before I got married and wish I worried less about paying things off  and working so much ......thats a dumb regret but I don't have to many ....

I love: my kids and D obviously more than anything and more than I ever thought possible its amazing isn't it how much your heart can love someone else...that in itself is a gift:) I'm so glad I have.

love little pocket boys and I'm to cool for this pose boy:) and of course the little girly too:)

I can't live without: my four sweet kids and wonder if there is another one out there? OTHER than that well lets hope I never have to find out what I can't live without although we can live without a whole lot more then we think we can.

I try to: be a good mom but I have a hard time following through on chore chart things like that they lose there initial excitement, and a hard time seeing farther then right now rather than that they are just kids....working on it....

I enjoy: watching my kids laugh and play nice together, I enjoy date nights, and hot baths and alone time...new clothes....the temple....blogging, reading, being at home when my kids get home from school with a snack ready.... hearing about there day ups downs and  the good and bad....

this is probably my favorite picture ever of our  four children D was making them laugh so these are genuine smiles:) love it! Thanks Pam

I miss: prison break late date nights with D that was so so fun when we first got netflicks we were addicted and flew through them.....  I still watch it sometimes just to get my wentworth fill ha ha .... i miss when you watch a series and it ends is that weird ?? I watched drop dead diva on net flicks in the mornings when I got ready cute series with a good lesson on perception and judging..... I need something else really good and clean...because

I don't care: much for trashy tv and can't understand why people watch half the trash out there and think nothing of it...each to there own though:)

I always:clean sink faucets and around them when I wash my hands ocd not sure I hate water spots:)

I never want to: downhill ski .....a black diamond ever again because i don't HAVE To....if I don't want to....

I rely on:  my instincts, my gut feeling a lot if it doesn't feel right it probably isn't! and I rely on D he is a rock.. my rock...I look up to him, love him and can't imagine life without him in it.

I believe:  we get back what we give ....... if we spend our lives being offended at every little thing we  won't find much joy...if we hate judge and count people out before they even have a chance that says something about our selves, I also believe this little boy is growing up school is great for him and he loves it:) and WE love him!

he tried the fake smile out for all his individuals so we are going for a reshot to see if we can get some real ones:)

I dance:  when K2 says "dance" he loves  music and dancing no matter where we are.... he is such a joy....my cuddliest warmest snuggler who loves him momma and I kind of like it a lot I don't want my baby to grow up but everyday he does a little more makes me sad!  Can't get enough of him ♥♥♥him.

I argue: with K sometimes ha ha and he is usually right because he remembers everything and I AM apparently getting old! Can't tell you how much I love this handsome kid, depend on him, appreciate him all of it LOVE you K!!

I want to: play more games with my kids, listen better, travel, lose some weight seriously this older age thing isn't funny things slow down and numbers creep up sad:( , I want to be better at serving, I want to be better for my kids more patient understanding and more on there level. I want a lot of things but I want what matters most deep down more than anything for all my kids D and my family, and every person connected with my family and thats covering a lot of people. I want what is best for all of us to be happy to understand that obedience is happiness and there is no other way, it hurts to see some make choices you so desperately wish they didn't, but we don't always get what we want.
We can still wish hope and pray though.

I wish:everybody could get along and see that we all are struggling one way or another...nobody gets a free pass card even if they are trying hard to pass it off...its there.

I listen:to music all the time cause I love it.

I don't understand: children of suicide it's so sad don't you just wish you could see what they were thinking see how they perceived things and help them.....

I forgot: That not everything in life is fair sometimes there are a lot of rude awakenings  and disappointments along the way. Try teaching the kids that. I guess its all a trial and error live and learn kind of teaching isn't it.

I am happy: when my house is content, my children are happy, my husband is happy, we have food to eat, money in the bank, the gospel and my testimony... life is good……and we are so blessed....

the imperfect bunch of us

 How's that for mixing it up? Give it a try makes ya think:)
Make it a good week...

{funerals family and friends}

Sometimes life gives you an awakening where you get a glimpse into what life should be if maybe we all made right choices if all good things happened to us and if life wasn't full of pain, hurt and disappointments.

Obviously that isn't real life. 

But that glimpse is a feeling I hope one day we all get to experience maybe not in this life but in the next.....

Going to a funeral and listening to an outline of ones life, an eulogy which usually doesn't last more than 10 minutes kind makes yah kind of think long and hard...

what will mine say? 

would anybody come to my funeral? 

did I serve or accomplish anything? 

Did my trials become my excuse for everything wrong in life or 

did I learn from them grow from them and help others?

Did my family know how much I love them?

Did I help others serve without expecting anything?

What were my relationships like?

Was I grouchy, mean, ornery 

Did I hang onto every grudge or thing that happened to me and make others suffer?

Was I a good example? A good daughter sister wife mother ??

Well it can go on and on because that is life. I choose to believe that hopefully by the time its my time to go I've learned a few more things, and hopefully I have time to learn and grow and make my life the way it should be the way I hope it is and can be.

I drove with my brother for 12 hours to Vancouver BC for my uncles funeral on Tuesday afternoon was there for 14 hours and then drove back again home and got in at 5am talk about crazy! But worth it. My uncle will be greatly missed by so many... I'm glad we went and I'm so very thankful for family, and for friends that helped watch my kids and take them to things

Going to a funeral makes you realize the things that matter, the things that don't and makes me want to live better and be better. 

Because in the end as I stood at the graveside and watched the box vault top be lowered into the ground. This carved wooden box encased in a cement vault..that holds the body... 

I thought and thats life those short few years that we 

either learn grow and do what we came here to do despite our circumstances in life..

or a few short years where we make one bad choice after another and ver down a different path then we should be on,

Because no matter what 

true happiness is in obedience and serving and learning and growing despite every obstacle that comes before us.

We can make excuses for everything we do but there comes a time when excuses won't work, where free agency will matter more then we realize

and the question 

what are you doing with your life??.....

Should make you think long and hard.

 we slept on my dad's boat surprised them in the middle of the night now that was funny:)  I took this the next morning love the water and mist
{My dad was a commercial fisherman while growing up and its still his love in life so he has a charter boat of sorts }

Seriously love the foliage and greenery and mountains and roads like this in the middle of a huge city! So pretty....

top is me and 2 of my sisters and my brother who I drove with, my mom and her brother and sister then some of the cousins who came and my cute little sister and sweet little india... below is the girls, aunt violy and her daughter and s.i.l and of course a flat tire at the cemetery because there's always got to be something right:) 

and home again....love lower mainland farmland next to chaos:) gotta love it.... love the green the mountains mist water all of it... so pretty...
Love my family immediate extended all ....

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speaking of families I love this one too:
{thanks alley for the pics}
From these two came these nine...

 from these nine came this....AHHHH j/k its tons of fun....

Today is my father in laws birthday and I just want to say Happy Birthday we love you:)He's pretty much the most patient, loving man I've ever met and I couldn't be more lucky to be apart of this big family:)
I sure love them, my kids and my D.

if there is one thing I learned more than ever this week its
 that this is what life is about.....
family.
and knowing
what matters most.
{and doing something about it.}

{Me thinks 10 for tuesday}

Holy I have good intentions to do my regular posts but the weeks are flying by and I'm always running here an there but here I am so today its a 10 on Monday but it sure is close to Tuesday:)

a good way to get through some days eh...

1. My sister did an awesome tribute to my uncle here who passed away his funeral is this week  ...some people have such job like lives so many trials...we'll sure miss him and love him. cancer sucks.

yes it is and you never know how long it will be....

2. Four teenagers were killed in an car accident in the community 10 minutes from us, so tragic it breaks my heart! I can't even imagine two 16 year olds and two 14 years olds heartbreaking... 

here's a story on it.....

3. My kids have been partying it up with all the fun new neighbors we have gotten over the past couple of months...they are loving it...the kids are having so much fun....ex. here where I've heard the words "that was the best party I've ever been too " so apparently I have a lot to learn from you Rhonda:) cause our parties suck ha ha!

4. Got family pics done tonight by the talented Pam I AM here my order for my outfit didn't come in time every other time it has always come in like 3 days yeah not so this time .......thankfully the kids' came not sure we pulled it all off or together guess we'll see ....the vision was there I promise oh well:) I'm sure it was just fine! Thanks whit for helping me out!

5. Got to go do some fun product shots with L this past week too for some hair flowers..... that was fun:) with the equally talented Kinsey who also is my awesome 2nd councilor in the primary with me. She really is so amazing and organized and on top of things.... I'm just praying she doesn't have her baby early cause our primary program is on sunday and she has done an amazing job putting it together! {selfish I know but she has at least only 2 weeks you never know} we are excited for her though!! I got to go to a baby shower for her last Friday night so fun to get out and so happy for her:) ...My beautiful girl....who is growing up way to fast....

6. I got a speeding ticket for the first time in my life in our small town {where I was actually pulled over} and guess what it wasn't even a REAL police officer it was a grouchy PEACE officer ...I guess it was about time I don't exactly waste time driving:) Serves me right I guess still now fun 132 later and 20 over ouch!

7. Have to start thinking about halloween M is going to be super mario and he can't wait I'm just happy he doesn't want to be buzz for the third year in a row, L want's to be Dorothy from the wizard of oz so we are working on that, K's is a secret :) and K2 were working on it should be fun the kids are super excited!

8.8 new babies within 6 months on my block pretty much every house surrounding us except this one of course ....I can't keep up..remembering meals and gifts I'm slowly getting there..then more come..all so cute and  so fun!

9. My sister and her husband and baby just got back from England {his whole family is from there} after being gone for two weeks ...sigh...someday I'll go....a little jealous yes I was happy for them though! Lucky kids!

10. Love these reminders.....

and

I just love my kids some of my favorite moments are looking at those little innocent peacefully sleeping faces and wondering who they will be, what they are dreaming about, and hoping they know how much they are loved no matter what kind of day we had. And praying that we will all make it together where we ultimately want to be together forever! They are my greatest blessings in this life them and D....

and bonus 11. because we all need a good laugh ....or we might cry...seriously. what is this world coming too..

Have a great week....

{Thankful..}

{Happy Canadian Thanksgiving}

 ...that I am for the beautiful September we had for the end of harvest, start of fall, pumpkins, burning leaves, raking leaves, sweaters, boots and chilly mornings, change of season
SO much to be thankful for...

 I  am thankful for...

source mmm

FOR

....my family .....yesterday a few of us on my side of the family went a couple hours away to my brothers house for  a thanksgiving dinner .We actually went on Saturday to spend time at my brothers and let the kids play they loved it and it was fun to relax a bit....

 I'm thankful for the opportunity to for the first time in our lives be able to see my grandma and have her close and spend the time we did get to spend with her, to know her better and to see ourselves a little in her too:)  We are so glad she is feeling better and now she is moving on away from us again but we love her and I am so glad my kids got to know and spend time with her too! Love you grandma! {Love K2's big smile in this pic}

 I'm Thankful for my country and the freedoms we do have.... for our boat and and all the fun memories we are making with it in our family each year! Thankful for job security most of all that D is happy in his job makes all things worth it years of schooling and the time away. 

Thankful for each one of my children and for each of their birth families because without their love, support and strength we wouldn't be the family we are and with four children that covers a lot of people and what a blessing each on is in our lives whether they know it or not they all are.

I am SO Thankful for a great husband who works, hard loves me, loves our children and makes us laugh everyday.... I love my family. 

I am so Thankful to be a member of The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because it is my life, my whole life is centered around it. My husband works for it, my children came through it {LDS family services} and I am the person I am today because of it. what is greater then knowing our Heavenly Father loves us and his son Jesus Christ died for us ...and feeling that love in return learning all we can doing all we can to get to where we want to be through them.....

or living a modest life, abstaining from harmful things or bad habits that aren't good for us and having values and guidelines to live my life by. 

Some may think that sounds ridiculous 

but to me its not hard its who I am and what I live...

the most spiritual moments in my life are through the life changing moments throughout my life.....getting married, bringing home our children and all the events in between since birth.....

there is something much bigger then this life then us....

and thats my goal is to get there hopefully without to many major setbacks and with ALL my family intact.....

and how we react to our trials is a big indication of what path will get us there and

I'm thankful for the opportunities and the growth it brings to me.

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....and today's thanksgiving dinner with D's family....

 I joined in the fun too something about using a gun brings a little satisfaction, a little release or whatever it is..... its fun! My boys sure had fun!

 Happy Thanksgiving:)

{i♥} winners and me thinks.

I ♥

free printables found here

I ♥

watching K play football and learn and get stronger every week, they grow up so so fast.......

I ♥

these brothers........ my boys

.....and this girl who is growing up equally as fast and having a great school year so far.... so proud of her and all she has done so far:)

I ♥

this man who turned 37 and I was going to find enough time to write thirty seven wonderful things about him.... but I didn't get enough time. But we we got to go do what he has always wanted to do on sept 30th his whole life and that was to go waterskiing the second love of his life:) it was a perfect HOT day and an easy party... so we headed to the lake and enjoyed the evening boating. SO happy birthday babe love you! A perfect way to spend his birthday on a warm night with the lake all to ourselves heaven 

{according to the die hards ha ha}

peace.

I♥

free art downloads I want to put them on canvas found here

I♥

yoga. love it.

I♥

general conference weekend.

Me thinks

i♥

life in general because there really is  

so much to be thankful for  

even for the trials we go through 

what do we learn from them ?

what can we learn from them?

and what are we doing with them?

I think we are each given whatever trial we are given to help others make it, learn from it and suffer through it together... it is not easy to watch others suffer  and make bad choices and see the pain in ones life because of choices.  But I'm learning that maybe things do happen for a reason imagine that eh! 

All part of the plan we do not see the full picture now or how it will effect us but I do know that ATTITUDE is everything in how we accept what life gives us. If we choose to be offended every time we turn around we won't be very happy, we need to

learn from it..... cry about it... its okay because it does hurt and it will continue to hurt but we can't spend life sitting in the corner feeling sorry for ourselves.

Cause maybe thats the bucket of trials we CHOOSE before we came here and not to long from now we'll understand why. Mostly we need to be thankful for that bucket of life changers.... we chose because we wouldn't be where and who we are today without them.

What happens to us, shapes us.

How much? 

well that's up to us.

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winner winners

through random generator 

is 

# 10 Holly D.

and # 20 Emily P.

yeah congrats guys message{fb} me your address' 

and I'll get them out to you right away:)

and thanks for ALL your entries and great advice etc 

love knowing who is reading :)

HAVE A GREAT WEEK