{Half a Year}

 We are still here:) Crazy as ever

so hard to believe that

....half a year has gone by since I last wrote anything here.... crazy! But really nobody reads them anymore ....since this instalife we live in has taken over. But I love looking back at what has happened the growth the lessons real life etc etc. So I'll attempt a catch up for myself.  We've had quite the year of fix its and emergencies that required lots of funds ....rather then lives or something major like that so I guess I will be thankful none of it is life altering just to our savings account haha;)  braces boats sewer probs suburban car feels like one thing after another I wanna cry etc etc ....

But that's life keep on moving right! 

There will always be something .....that.... I have learned.

Seriously love this crew!

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SOOO lets see Since february so much has happened we had 

the worlds longest coldest snowiest winter I can ever remember here  

K had great basketball season didn't quite end the way we wanted but a lot of growth throughout the school year for all..... And is back at his early mornings and working all day long at the ranch love this boy! He also just returned last Monday from Moroni's Quest and had an amazing spirit filled weekend that touched his life. Its a beautiful thing to watch your children grow strong and develop strong testimonies and know for themselves the beautiful things that make life whole. 

 L has excelled at band and took an ASL course which she loved, has learned to crochet and found a love for reading:) She took tennis and coached tennis...has good friends been to girls camp already and is growing up way to fast:( ... Its super fun to see her find some hobbies this year #benefitstonoiphone 

annnddd ....She also finally got braces:) so she's pretty excited:)

 {she's missing from a few family pics because she is in marching band and gone for a few}

We went to st george in April for spring break again and loved it we had friends there at the same time and that made it even funner this time! 

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we were able to attend the Jordan river Temple open house to on our way home..

We had D's Grandmas 95th!! birthday party celebration too Love 

this lady she is amazing! 

In April and May I worked at the high school here for a 6 week sub job some of it was really hard. But I loved the association with great people! I really missed it when I was done.... but also drove home the fact that I love a clean house, being home after school and having snacks and time to talk about their days, and dinner ready. I was dead tired and laundry piled up and I lived for weekends;) but I could totally do a part time! We have great teachers and a great high school and kids here.

I did love spending more time with my older two kids but kinda felt like I missed out on things with my younger two kids. But I loved the interaction with others and realized I need something else to help me feel productive and useful in other ways 

then the thankless job at home sometimes, 

you know what I mean right.

But there is a time and season in life for things and my children are only young once and for me I want to cherish that time, not miss it. #ThatbeingsaidIcouldhandleparttime:)

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We've had another anniversary 21 years!! Insane are we really these middle aged people ahhh! 

A couple Kids' birthdays M turned 12 and headed to YM's and got the priesthood he was super ready and super excited:) love that kid! He's been loving roaming again, no school, some tennis camp swim lessons and watching out for littles who love M

....and he's probably my best helper these days!

and this sweetheart of a boy K2 turned 9!! 

Can you even believe that! Was he not just born yesterday! He's been loving swimming and tennis and riding his bike and playing all day long. 

Saturday we saw a dead bird while out on a walk it was dying  and he wanted to see if it was okay the next day well it had died right there feet up.  So he decided we needed a funeral for it so he organized it a song, pray and all the funeral arrangements. We had a few laughs but overall it will be a fun memory for all of us and that sweet boy will be blessed because of it I'm sure! A little kindness never hurts he is such a thoughtful boy! Love that about him! 

In May I went to Time out for women with my mom and sister and friends and awesome weekend full of amazing presenters and fun times:)

We've had Missionaries come and go and visits with rm's in our home and loved every minute of their spirits back in our homes and ♥'s. We have loved serving with them and learning from all of them... we love our sisters änd elders but we just have the sisters in our ward:)  

In April D was released as Bishop after 5 years of so much growing together as a ward and family. He truly was a great Bishop who loved and cared about every single person in it, their struggles became his struggles & their lives and concerns weighed heavily on him. 

Honestly its a super weird feeling when it ends, a ward naturally moves on with the newly called and everything you've put your heart soul and family through is really your own to go through and work out.  That mantle is real and that mantle is gone when released and you profoundly feel its absence.  

I have struggled in the past few months finding my place and who I am and why I did and do things really only to discover that that's who I am, because I have grown up a little become more understanding, compassionate and have became those things even more through this experience. It becomes your life for five years and you grow together so much as a couple its a very unappreciated job unpaid and unnoticed a lot by others, but felt strongly in the home and then suddenly its gone. You spend years basically alone a lot of the time, raising the children, being the support your husband needs through his calling and you get used to it, but support is the greatest thing you can give them and helping things at home run smoothly and helping the children see the value and love in their service. 

You have to have a new mindset and realize that's part of life. The weight on his back so to speak is gone for him, but the adjustment and struggle has been real. Moving on:)

The before and after five years: 

We both got new callings mixed with a little old most sundays haha aka nursery ss and enrichment my favs;) D is working with the YM M's age so back in where he usually is and he's loving it!

We had our beloved prophet President Nelson and his Wife Sister Wendy Nelson who is from Raymond... come to raymond with Elder Rasband {and his wife} of the 12 a truly awesome experience...

We also had the privilege of having Bishop Causse of the presiding bishopric of the church who is over temporal affairs come to the ranch and D his tour guide showing him the Lords Land ha it was fun to have him here and learn from him....

D & I Went to seminar in SLC for D's work another great year full of uplifting talks and presentations and people but only possible because of great friends who watch and love our kids like family:) 

 Felt like I was in paris again it was heavenly can I please go back;) to paris that is:)

We've had sports days and finals 

We've had Canada Day BBQ and parties and end of school and summer fun going strong 

Onto Grades 11/ 9/ 7/ 4 ahh insane!

Swim lessons/ Tennis lesson/ Samba Marching Band for L looking forward to Tally lake time if our stinkin boat gets fixed properly we have had bad luck this year in the vehicle department:( oh and the lift pump $4000 little mishap too:(( 

I wanna cry and  I just need a million dollars is that so much to ask for:)

Reunions and visitors we love

A nephew called to the pennsylvania philadelphia mission in Aug

and a niece leaving for the Berlin Germany mission in Nov

So excited for them both! so weird to see these kids all grown up and onto amazing things! Another nephew returned from the rome italy mission this past year too....... Ahh they grow up so fast! before I know it K will be on his way and I cant even think about that....

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We had our Big family pictures with all of D's siblings and there families 60 of us in total {two of those to be born} but there too:) and Kinsey Holt photography did our whole fam and did a fabulous job on such a big group! She is amazing! Lucky to have such great friends who are so talented!

{{Now I only wish I could get my side or the family to update our pictures♥}}

Love my tribe who helps raise my children through their amazing examples of faith, service and love.

Families Can Be Together Forever 

How very thankful I am for my family all of them on both sides each one teaches us so much about life through example and trials and where we want to go and how we can get there.

I feel blessed. I count my blessings everyday for each of these people in my life especially my own little tribe♥ 

 As for our pictures someone is always making a face its hard to choose which one to use?....

Went to Les Mis in calgary this past week too with my sils and mil fun day:)

....And life carries on can't complain about the heat now after our longest winter ever, but its pretty hot and dry here. Summer is all about not schedules and late bedtimes and here and there though it makes me a little crazy the kids are having fun making memories.

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“Don't limit yourself and don't let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities. 

-President Monson

Make it a good one!

{ Oh 2018.....}

Lets just say this is the longest winter I can remember in a very long time  and yet I haven't even blogged in these long cabin fever days.... But since it was Valentines day this week and that got me thinking about all the things I love:) So I'm posting a whole lotta love today what I'm lovin.. 

I'm loving my family, obviously but finding teenagers a whole new bred of awesome and awkward... they think they are adults as soon as they can drive ha ha not really funny. ... its a whole new world letting them drive off and the freedom a set of wheels brings! Oh my imagine if he had his own car which I'm sure he dreams about all day! But he's amazing and all kinds of wonderful in that 6'4 boy hard to think about halfway through grade 10 through finals and onto a new semester learning life lessons all along the way.  He's your typical boy nice most of the time..... a pill sometimes loving one minute hating the next ........welcome to the world of teenagers... I know that's what your thinking.....and ps he finally got his braces off after 2 years they look beautiful! Hopefully I get a good pic to share soon!

.....AND  then comes the moody feisty stubborn sister to the brother who... add a monthly... we got emotions flowing like no other. These days I'm choosing to bite my tongue, or learn to ignore when needed and hug it away the next. She's a teary gem.... a rose among the thorns, who loves to pick fights and I hear "get out and leave me alone" probably more than anything these days.  One day they will love each other .....right oh the joys....but on the up side of things she's having a great grade 8 year learning to study, has a strong testimony and faith, has good friends is loving a sign language class and loving boys ....oh to be in grade again j/k I wouldn't do that for anything haha! 

But she's killing it and we love the feisty teenager....

Then comes the boy

 on the verge of 12 of liking girls, of discovering new things, new likes music and all things pre teenagery and like his big brother..... trying new things ....pushing new limits.... but still that 2 sec cuddle boy who needs his mom.  Who picks on everyone who won't sleep and.... Yet he's still that little boy who needs just as many rules and consequences as the others but likes it the least. I mean nobody likes consequences for our actions but him least of all! He's got a hippie, loving whatever makes you comfortable vibe kinda year in school...... and we can't wait for jr high for him.... really.... to learn to sit in a desk, actually do homework and actually for me to know whats going on each day. This boy is a sweetheart and seriously can always be found doing something for someone or helping with little kids or playing with them..... running an errand he's one in  a million though thankfully the Lord knew I could only handle that much energy in one kid......

Because then he gave me the sweetest little 8 year old who he himself is trying to figure out the baby to big kid phase gotta be hard but some days are better than others.... But I would take a million of his soft, tender heart and sensitive to others spirit any day... he teaches me moments that make me think oh your right I'd better do better... he's an old soul in a little body and spirit. He's smart, happy and creative artist and learning to master his emotions daily without freaking out on anyone. He doesn't want to be called a baby, but sometimes as the littlest its hard to break out of that mold isn't it you babies out there ha ha? 

But he's stellar and we all love him!
Speaking of Stellar this guy

Another Valentine’s Day and 21 years since we got engaged which means 22 years of knowing each other that’s crazy! Okay what’s crazy is that he still loves me haha we may not have any time together literally these past years unless we plan to make it! but we are blessed to be best friends! We have a good life ...great kids and what it takes to make it work for us:) he’s not a social media kind of guy professing his undying love for me ...in real he isn’t either ...but it’s the little things along the way that show it ... it’s his hard work ....his example ....his service to not only to us but everyone... we share him with so many others in return we know we are watched after all of us in many ways. Life is never easy but it’s a whole lot easier facing it together. It’s not the same for others ....I know but it works for us... love this guy and I’m thankful for eternity to continue to annoy each other. Love this man!

Sometimes, ... you feel inadequate and ineffective because you can't do all that you feel you should. Rather than continually dwelling on what still needs to be done, pause occasionally and reflect on all that you do and have done. It is most significant.” ... Remember, “the good you have done, the kind words you have spoken, the love you have shown to others, can never be fully measured.” -President Monson

So together they push me over and around they hate me some days or so they say .....
some days I can't win, we hurt each others feelings some days .....
Other days life is great and we win together.
Most days I feel invisible that nobody even notices what I do but that's part of the job I signed up to do isn't it. One day, no even now, its worth it just trying to build a house into a home 

where each day we can feel the spirit, teach what matters most and feel what matters most deep inside a home where they can

crash on a shoulder when they are hurting or had a bad day 

a home where know they are loved more than anything

a home where the gospel is not only taught but felt 

we aren't perfect by any means not even close

and some days scripture study happens as they are eating breakfast, some days its happens running out the door...... but we are trying and some days & mornings are easier than others.

Some days there are quiet voices, some days they are much louder 

but we forgive move on and try harder the next day and 

thank goodness we have another day...

Each day is a new day and we are trying every day to be a little better everyday.

Everyday there are I love you's ......there are how was your day? .....what was your favorite thing? everyday there is connection to each other and at the end of the day with our Heavenly Father, who I hope knows we are trying. We are trying to get the much closer together forever too and foster a feeling worthy of the spirit to dwell here. That's my favorite things.

 Elder Marvin J. Ashton said, “Home should be an anchor, a port in a storm, a refuge, a happy place in which to dwell. … Home should be where life’s greatest lessons are taught and learned. Home can be the center of one’s earthly faith where love and mutual responsibility are appropriately blended.”

Other things I'm loving these days....Let's see:

Chat books -I LOVE that my kids love to sit and look at them and laugh at memories

blender makeup sponges -awesome blending coverage

memories of Europe

BOM study book I LOVE THIS one if you don't have one get one so much easier to read study and mark up I promise its amazing!

Banana Split protein shake
-frozen banana 
-frozen strawberries
-scoop of chocolate protein
-a spoonful of greek yogurt 
-chia seeds and 
-milk 
{or almond milk whichever you can handle 
so good!}

Hold on 

and have a great week:)

{ 2017 Year in Review }

2 0 1 7  Y E A R  I N  R E V I E W

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Finally went to Europe I lived out my dream trip raised the money, made goals, planned it, carried it out and seriously it was amazing I think about it everyday I would go back in a heartbeat just need to win a million:)  I loved having D all to myself remembering who we are together and exploring as much as we could in 13 days a highlight of my life....for sure!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

This year was a busy hard year kinda glad its over but excited for whats ahead

-and yes I kept my resolutions to workout to eat healthy and be stronger

3. Did anyone close to you give birth adopt etc?
- YES little Maren and ....

 my sister is adopting a sibling trio of three boys 5,3,1 and we are so excited for there family

4. Did anyone close to you die?

-Yes an uncle way to early

5. What countries did you visit?

ENGLAND FRANCE SCOTLAND IRELAND

and the USA:)

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

- strength physically ...I'm going to learn to lift weights, burdens, moods, and others and continue all that I already do only better than last year

- I would like to do more as a family go a fun trip together and make new memories together its weird thinking we only have two more summers till K leaves ahhh!

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

-The day I got on the plane for Europe was a rush because I had worked so hard for it

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

-achieving personal goals

 - went to a  garth brooks concert so fun!

- Had a lot of fun this summer reunions..... the lake.....time well spent despite life happenings we made the most of it....and survived

9. What was your biggest failure?

-Not so much failure but moments I would do again 

10. Did you or someone close suffer illness or injury?

-D got a huge sprained ankle from a gopher hole

-L got stitches for cutting open her finger on a new knife seconds after I told her to be careful its sharp

11. What was the best thing you bought?

-A plane ticket to Europe and every other thing associated with that:)

12. Where did most of your money go?

-Lets just say kids get more expensive as they get older food clothes sports..... house and vehicles

-Lots of replacements and repairs that were costly this year:(

worth it heck ya!

14. Some favorite moments of 2017

{Besides Europe haha}

 K2's baptism in July was pretty special

 Going to Conference in October and surprising the kids it was amazing and we got to see some of our favorite missionaries who had served here:)

 Boating is always a highlight till it breaks down:(

My sisters little boy was sealed to them in June that's a pretty amazing event that we all loved and most of my siblings except for one brother made it for the day!

 The eclipse was pretty amazing even from our corner of the world

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?

Happy.. same... counting my blessings you never know 

on any day what can happen what you can lose and
so we appreciate it!


16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

- I tried hard to use my time more wisely and to remember that the children are the most important people in our lives we attended lots of sports of all the kids piano swim etc 

-not sure what I wish I had done more of I guess we can all do more of what we should be doing going to the temple, studying my scriptures but I worked harder on that this year too and will keep working on it

 17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Not sure it was filled with ups and downs and life lessons but I could have been on my knees more and strengthened good habits better..

18. How did you spend Christmas?

-Christmas eve at our house we always do appetizers and potato soup and buns  the nativity and stories we had our family my sisters family and my brother and his kids this year as well as the sisters so it was nice then we open up new pjs Christmas day we did our own thing here then headed to cardston to D's parents and mine for a bit and Christmas dinner:)

19. What was your favorite TV program?

we don't have TV but

Net flicks series get me through When calls the heart got me through early winter treadmill running so far ... I actually really love it and Christmas hallmark shows and Nicholas sparks movies ahhh

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

-I reread all of the children of the promise books series by Dean Hughes favorite favorite series! So good!

21. What was your favorite treats/food this year?

same old I'm kinda of a boring girl I do like chewy candies though ha ha
-hot lips or cinnamon bears and Wrigley spearmint gum

-cafe verde/rio  salads  perfection fruits and veggies:)

22. What were your favorite movies of the year?

-Didn't really see any awesome ones this year just watched 

wonder women and I actually really liked it

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

-I turned 41 last January not sure how that happened but nothing out of the ordinary. We just keep getting older not sure whats going on

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

-Keeping it together another year;)  Kinda true though it was a tough year for a lot of reasons but there are blessings all along the way and for that I am so thankful I have great kids who are good kids making exciting choices and really growing up into all I hope they can and will be....that's satisfying for sure

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

- booties skinny jeans peplum, gingham and floral going strong..... cute coats and yes I like to shop:)

26. What kept you sane?

- Sunrises and early morning late night runs:))

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.

I struggled with a few personal things this year and finding my place after the kids all went to school and with them getting older.  I had so many opportunities to reach out and help and see beyond myself..... 

But some days I think where did I think I would be at this stage of life? What do I want to do? Am I where I want to be? DO I need to change something? Work harder? Strengthen our walls and home and for me to let loose some reigns and let them fly and make choices and learn and expand.  Its hard to let go the little things that used to matter so much, but now they are developing into their own selves even more and I realize more than ever that this is were we let them fly a little more to experience the life they want to. 

That being an example is more important than ever because that's the memories they take with them. That's what makes a childhood and a lifetime of memories that make us who we are and what we want to be. The influence we have is so important and I realize that, and that is a valuable life lesson for me to be better, love harder let go easier and move forward together...... leading  guiding and walking beside them each step so that someday they are ready to go on there own.

I've realized more and more how fast time goes by and how much I want to do all I can for my children in the short time I have them home.  To raise them to be strong, independent hard working  faith filled children turned adults who contribute to society. 

They are well on their way and its exciting to see them become who they are meant to be, though a little sad that they do grow up so fast. 

The older I get the harder some things are, but the clearer I see the things that are important. The friends I choose to be around are those that build up and who we can depend on. 

IN 2018:

 MY WORD OF THE YEAR THIS 2018 is 

 BALANCE 

"if you cannot do great things do small things in a great way."

I want balance in my home and spirit and life to find that happy medium that its okay that not everything gets done that its okay if we aren't the perfect scripture reading family we try and that counts every bit whether we get up at 6 to read or it gets done 5 minutes before bus or at night its okay we are doing it...

I want to find balance within and not stress and over process things

I want to find balance with my children in our relationships and around the house

BALANCE in spiritual ways and physical ways and blending them all together is BALANCE so I'm hoping throughout the year to stop and see and make sure that everything is 

in Balance that its working because we so often as women especially we doubt ourselves 

as a women as a mother as a wife.....

"ONE OF THE GREATEST WEAKNESSES IN MOST
OF US IS
OUR LACK OF FAITH IN OURSELVES." 

-L. Tom Perry

This quote rang true when I read it I love it because its so true we are all important we just don't realize it a lot of the time and we kick ourselves when we are already at our worst or feeling down. So I hope this year to see my own worth and to balance the things on my plate and to be the best I can for my family and myself.....

Here's to 2018