{ Me Thinks Monday..}

It's cold. drifty. windy. snowy. cold. it is January though right:)

Sunday I saw this view in our hometown and told D to stop so I could take a picture and was so excited that it was just as I saw it.....

o u r   w e e k e n d  f u n

Saturday Our kids spent all day playing outside they had so much fun D took them to shovel peoples walks at 7:30 in the morning {teaching em to work;) so they worked, then they played all day long forts/ hot chocolate/ D took them skating too /then more forts hot chocolate/ sledding ha ha they loved it and slept pretty awesome and early too that night:)

the other two never stay still for me to take a picture but they were equally as cute:)

-D and I went on a date for my birthday on Friday night you know dinner and movie and of course all  good dates end at walmart right;) {I finally saw Breaking Dawn part 2 {the best one of the series} 

Kind of almost sad when something ends eh..

- Went to a baby blessing the last of the 7:) 

- Biggest Loser started again so excited:) simple pleasures ha ha

-We are getting cable for the first time in our married lives they are slowly taking out peasant vision:( and we can lock all channels we don't want to see too that was a big motivator

- went to a fun party Saturday night too fun to get out.

All in all a good weekend.

 

*M e  T h i n k s*

I've been thinking a lot about this one over the past few days and I hope this person who I'm quoting doesn't care {love you} but I thought more opinions and thoughts would be nice to hear too .... 

She brought up some interesting thoughts for a lot of us all who are mothers who are home who have all I'm sure at one point felt like a lonely, nobody stuck in the house ....
that everybody forgot about as soon as baby was a little older.....

in her words...

" I can't seem to fill this void that is constantly haunting me. 
It's this horrible feeling that now I'm a nobody.  I used to matter to the community, I was a professional, I was good at what I did.  I felt like I was pushing myself and learning new things.  Now I feel stagnant.  I am stuck at home...which is exactly where I wanted to be, but it is sooo hard!  I try to think of things that I can do to help me stretch myself but nothing sounds that interesting.........." 
"So then I start thinking about going back to work just to somehow fill that void, but when I realize that would mean leaving my child at a daycare 5 days a week it sounds horrible.  So I would love to hear your advice on how you cope with being a stay at home mom.  What helps you to feel your worth?  How do you connect with society?  What fills you up?  How do you keep yourself from becoming this mom locked in her home that no one knows about?"  

  

How many of us have felt like that at some point along the way especially in the beginning..??

M y  t h o u g h t s :

 I remember having to wait so long going to work day after day, year after year, waiting wanting and yearning for 5 years to stay home and be a mom and have kids because that was all I had ever wanted. When it finally happened it felt like a dream to be able to stay at home...then it finally happened and it was awesome, wonderful and exciting and exactly what I had prayed for. Yet some days I felt guilty because I missed being with people feeling important and like I was "somebody" again ...

BUT my next thoughts were always I am somebody..... to my kids and though it may feel like its not making a huge difference at this moment to them now or I may feel like I don't make any difference some days.  

What makes all the difference to me is looking beyond today and knowing that years from now looking back I did everything I could to be there for them to be there right now..... to be present.

to help them, feed them, clean up after them, talk with them find out about there day...... make that after school snack for them and to me to be there everyday when that door opens is the most important thing to me because there are many stages in life and it passes so quickly. And that someday they looking back will know I was there because I wanted to be.
But always the same feeling to feel fulfilled...... to matter I also realized that I enjoy people to much too I missed seeing them in the beginning and feeling useful, like I mattered that what I did is counting for something....... to me inside.
I think every mother has had these same feelings, cried to our husbands how we feel like maids and nobodies etc..on the flip side I have had lots of friends who work and are sad about missing out on all the important things in their kids' lives and how they have to do everything its like having two jobs and I can't imagine that and then work.  

{I realize some people just have to..... there is no other option.  Some want to, some need to, some want toys some need to keep there licenses currant..... but what I'm saying is we are all different, all in different circumstances and coming to the realization of what we want to and where we want to or should be is hard..}

SO I think we want both worlds .......kind of the we want what we don't have syndrome then we get and we want it another way? 

Does that make sense? 

For me I subbed and more children came  life got busier more fulfilling as it went along I felt more useful, more busy and had less time to think about myself essentially I guess. 

I joined the town soccer board, the PTA and organized an exercise class for the town, volunteered and put everything I could/ can into whatever calling I have/had.. I feel more useful, I feel needed and I feel filled. 

I take me time because I think to be the best moms we can be we need to feel happy inside and out. 

 Getting out is key to feeling important whether its to the park or to volunteer whatever it is for you.

..... being busy serving helps fill that void.  

We  aren't alone we do make a difference and it is finding what makes us happy where we are and what is best for everyone with no guilt that will make us the best we can be.

Whether that is being the teacher/nurse/ whatever it is you always dreamt of or cleaning up puke and spilled milk and breaking up fights and snuggling a sick one ......

Wherever it is know what you want .....we only have one chance at this time now...... we can't ever redo what we are doing now..and I personally feel now more than any in the worlds history is it more important to be there with our whole heart and minds for our children.  

There are so many outside distractions if we carry one inside we can't fully be present in what we are doing as moms, if we only wish we were somewhere else.

It is in the end finding what makes you happiest what fills that void for you and what is best for everyone..... with no guilt.

I love where I am in life and I'm right where I want to be. But I also don't have a big degree or specialized training. I'm doing what I always wanted and dreamt of,  so for others its different its finding your place and what fills you up.

So what fills you up? 

H a v e  a  g r e a t  w e e k.

 

Even on cold drifty snowy January days;)