{thirty. plus five. whoa}

me at six months old

 On Monday  I will be 35 and I seriously can't believe I got to be this old {which I know isn't that old} but I used to look at people who were in their thirties and think wow thats old I never want to be there if thats thirty five. 
 But here I am.  
Really I don't feel thirty five 

 I feel good. Its okay..

 I feel like I've done a lot, been through a few things to get me to this point. There really is only one reason turning thirty five is hard. Since I was 21 we've tried to have/make a baby but 14 years later not once has that ever happened, why no one knows  

{tmi/fyi nothing medically wrong with either of us 
for those that were wondering ha ha.}

 But I also know that these four awesome kids we have the privilege of being ours forever are meant to be here and couldn't have otherwise if all things had worked the "way" they were supposed too.  

But it did work the way it was supposed to 

that I am sure of. 

But it doesn't take the part of my heart that still wishes, hopes, and prays for each day, each month for just the once even to know to feel and to experience but  

alas ha who says that... I am a old lady now moved up into that next dreaded age bracket {j/k} 

no for real I'm fine I'm in a good place.  I'm happy and nothing matters more to me than my family, our happiness within and as a family and our dreams whether 
its now or never. today or tomorrow. this year or next. 

It is what it is.

and that is pretty good.

5 years old

 -----------------------

So I found these awesome questionnaire thingys and there happened to be thirty five questions so I thought it would be fun not sure what you could possibly learn new about me but whatever its fun right! so here goes.....

{{ to doing my own birthday post/or vent post?? ha ha}}

I WANT: my kids to always be happy and make right choices. and to know what matters most.
I HAVE: so much.... i have dklmk2 .
I WISH:  for a lot of things lol
I HATE:  when my kids hurt,  I hate doubt, I hate worry, I don't like negativity
I MISS:  the beach,
I HEAR: the bathroom fan
I WONDER: when? why?
I REGRET:   nothing.  all things happen for a reason.
I AM NOT:   like everyone else. i am me.and u r u
I DANCE:  with my kids and miss actually going to a dance to dance with D,
I SING:  when I can {or in the burb?},and trying to sing more in church each sunday with the hymnbook instead of just using it as a comfort cushion on my lap.
I CRY:  once in awhile
I AM NOT ALWAYS: one who keeps her opinions to herself and its gotten me in trouble a few times, but I believe in standing up to defend what's right no matter what anyone thinks.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:  so much. dinner. hair. crafts.
I WRITE: on my blog. my thoughts feelings opinions recipes family fun I enjoy it.
I CONFUSE: myself sometimes.
I NEED:  nothing much but what I've got.
I SHOULD: get a few things done around here...
I START: early in the morning getting ready and helping my kids off to school, prayers, scriptures, showers, breakfast and on time for the bus.... we are doing good this week!
I FINISH:  what I start.

35 Questions about moi:

Where were you born: 

Bella Coola, BC

How old will you be this year?   

35

Nicknames: 

Chris, mom, hon. lol, critty lee 

Are you taller than your mother? 

um yeah

Do you cry often during movies?  

yes all the time { i just cried in tangled ;)}

What is your biggest pet peeve?  

people who don't do what they say, really late people, people who don't understand or who leave others out intentionally, 

 Favorite color: 

don't really have one anymore I think they are all pretty nice ha ha

  Favorite foods: 

I love {Yoplait}  yogurt, peaches and all bran every morning, I love egg white omelets, and chewy candies, black licorice  and fruits veggies anything remotely healthy  pretty much

Favorite beverage: 

water or a good smoothie

  Favorite cold cereal:  

 alot of different ones but i don't eat it much  I do like corn bran,  I used to pick fruit loops growing up for my sugar breakfast now my kids get to pick a cereal on there birthdays that we don't usually buy!

Favorite  Smells: 

freshly bathed babies lotioned up, the earthy smell just after rain, fresh buns or bread, freshly cut hay

Favorite time of day:  

tucking my kids into bed the quiet hours that follow but I love reading to them, having scripture study together, hearing about their last thoughts and feelings before they go to sleep, K's question of the night, M's excuses why he can't get to sleep love it!

 What is your favorite game?   

love sequence, apples to apples, werewolf

How many pillows do you sleep with? 

1

Do you play an instrument: 

No but I wish I could play the piano

What was the last movie you saw?   

Tangled with little miss L

What is your favorite article of clothing? 

a cardigan /jeans

What is your dream vacation? 

I really really want to go to Europe.... England Ireland where D served his mission, Italy to see everything, France to see the Eiffel tower all of it!

What do you love most? 

Fresh rain, a good exciting storm, The gospel, my family, a great husband who is my best friend, four beautiful children who I feel so blessed to have as my children and sealed to us forever and ever! A home thats ours,

What do you wish you could change? 

The sick world we live in pretty much! but judgments of others,  why can't we just see each other for the children of God that we all are equal no one better than the other!

If you were an animal what would you be? 

a horse....... I'd run and run, flip my mane saa j/k and then I'd be useful for work and riders

What is your favorite "me- time" activity?   

getting my hair cut, reading, working out, a hot bath
a weekend away {yeah like that happens haha}

What is one of your weaknesses? 

on-line shopping?? Probably the need for cleanliness I like things orderly and clean {is that a weakness?} I'm kind of impatient sometimes {aren't we all well a lot of us anyway but I'm trying!}

What is your favorite birthday dinner? 

Every year growing up I always had the same thing lasagna and salad and cherry cheesecake the no bake kind, or angel food cake! My mom is the best and still has us over for birthday dinner most years!

What is the emotion you feel the most?  

 happiness I guess with a bit of stress and a little worry? only for my kids and what the future holds but I don't worry to much and only do my best right now to prepare them to make right choices......

Do you consider yourself outgoing? 

Yes way more than I used to be I think a blog has been a great outlet for me to get my thoughts out,  I can still be pretty quiet if it's a new situation and new people,

{and thanks to those that even read my blog who give advice, love and tell me what your thinking I love it!! and appreciate it!!} THANK YOU!

What are some of your talents?  

 not sure??  I can craft sometimes, i like to sing {in my shower}  

What is a word or phrase you overuse? 

seriously? {i always say that} stop that, I LOVE YOU.

What was the hardest thing that happened to you this past year? 

just realizing that you can't be affected by others actions and how they act  has nothing to do with me I do the best I can and the rest is in someone else's ballpark...

What is the best thing that happened to you this year?   

gained a deeper testimony, a stronger family bond, working together on our house to get things done, buying the boat and all the fun family times on it!

The best thing learned this past year? 

that all that matters is family and the relationships cultivated within them....you can't control what others say and do but you can have strength yourself and teach the children and shut all else out that doesn't feel good or right! Being surrounded by gratitude and finding the good elsewhere!

What was your favorite thing about being 34 years old? Another year not really a favorite thing besides learning and growing which I assume we continue to do till we die right.

What  are you most excited about being 35 years old? 

 to still be here.... all that I've learned to get to be 35 probably,

What the scariest things about being 35?  being 35.

What is the thing that makes you happiest in your life right now?

I have a roof over my head, a comfy bed to sleep in, church to go to, knowledge and faith, four awesome kids, a strong, hard working husband who loves me and our family and works hard everyday, 

Having a testimony and faith that all things happen for a reason we may not understand the why's all the time.... but for me looking around I can name four why's that make us the family that we are....

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.
- Emily Dickinson
We are always the same age inside.

- Gertrude Stein 

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND...