{ THIS IS ME }

i am: ME

i think: about having another baby and being chosen by a birth mother again most the time

i know: i am loved

i want: kids that listen and grow up happy and content and live a life of purpose and meaning

i have: 2 awesome boys and one little princess girl and a wonderful hard working husband

i wish: I would somehow miraculously get pregnant someday and that all those that are going through it and wish for it would too. and i wish that everyone could get along in this world.

i dislike: people who think they are better than everyone or who are dishonest and unkind

i miss: old friends who have passed on or who I haven't seen for a long time

i fear: something bad happening to my kids or D or our family/families

i feel: tired and restless for some reason

i hear: Masen trying to get outside and the kids playing

i smell: sugar cookies and play dough

i crave: cold ice water {and chewy candies once in awhile}

i usually: sleep until about 5:30 am if I'm going for a jog which I usually am

i search: for my niche in this life something I’m really good at something that’s me

i wonder: if we will ever find the right house for us at the right price

i regret: not finishing college. sometimes I feel dumb when my husband has a masters and I have nothing degree wise? Is that dumb? probably not but I feel like that sometimes

i love: my family, my children my D, the gospel, a good book and my treadmill

i care: about to much sometimes,but deeply my children and D

i always: take a shower and get ready every morning no matter what

i worry: that maybe we will never get chosen by a birth mother and never have any more children {but I feel very blessed and lucky to have the three I do}

i am not: cold

i remember: clearly each of my children's adoptions and the day of each of there sealings and mine and D’s wedding day

i believe: that there is a plan for each of us and that everything is for a reason even though we can't see what that reason is sometimes

i dance: with my children to loud music in the living room often

i sing: all the time but not in front of others anymore

i don’t always: have patience, or like being the oldest of my five bro's & sis's

i argue: only when i feel strongly about something or somebody

i write: notes and lists and in my journal but mostly here

i win: sometimes but not very often

i lose: shoes {well I don’t the kids do } we are always looking for shoes

i never: forget all that I have and am blessed with

i listen: to music to my children read, and to them laugh

i don't understand: why sometimes?

i can usually be found: walking during the day with the kids or biking somewhere,

i am scared: that my kids won't like me when they are older , and I'm scared of what is to come in this world it's so bad right now what will IT be like sometimes it’s a scary place!

I tag anybody who wants to evaluate their life ha ha and with a recent self port. good or not. cause this is me.