Position
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life {if you play your cards right}
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Well I'm off to a full weekend a wedding to go to, some grocery shopping, a little framing and electrical work to finish before the drywallers come next week to finish the basement. I'm so excited we are actually getting closer to getting it done. But we {D} have a few things to do before they get here! Who knew it could be kind of fun picking out doors and taps and fixtures, paint colors etc??
I actually enjoyed it.
Well hope you all have a great weekend!! Make it a good one.
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{I need help what do I do about a 2 year old who wakes up anywhere around 5-6 in the morning and wakes everybody up it makes the older two so grouchy oh wait make that three older ones - including me! It's so frustrating ! Any suggestions??}
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It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
~Joyce Maynard


4 comments:
Doe he wake up due to his bed time? Sometime as they grow they don't need as many hours to sleep anymore. I found that with Curtis. And so we started delaying his bed time a little further each night until we found the happy medium....he didn't wake until it was time to. : D
Loved the parental job description! SO true!!
HAve fun this weekend! Sounds like a busy one! But fun!
One word "Melatonin" check it out!
We don't drug-up our children it just helps - when you already know that they are going to have a difficult sleep. Only Spencer and Rissa really use it. We used it for a week for them to get use to it and to make better sleep habits.
Oh! I'm so sorry about your early mornings! I used to have one that did that same thing. I just prayed. I didn't know what else to do! He doesn't do it anymore thankfully. Hopefully M will hurry and grow out of that one.
I loved all your parenting thoughts, and the picture of L is priceless! Love it! Don't we all feel that way sometimes. Too cute!
You should call my mom. Apparently this was me (but I think I was a little older than 2). But I remember waking up at like 5 and her telling me that I wasn't allowed to get up until the clock said 7, and then I could go down and color. I also would pour myself a bowl of cereal. True story, ask Bev!
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