Do you ever just sit and thank your blessings that you have all that you do?
The life that you life??
The husband you have {or wife?}
Or maybe just a house to live in or your cat to keep you company.
Or the children you've been blessed to have however they have come to you?
Do you ever sit and ponder how you got to where you are right now?
Ever think about what made you who you are?
Ever think about the choices you've made whether right or wrong got you to where you are right now?
Do you ever sit and think why was I born in this time period?
Why wasn't I born a Jew in Nazi era?
Why wasn't I born a pygmy or whatever?
Why are we where we are?
Because I know we are meant to be just where we are at the time we are supposed to be.
That's why.
and I am so so very thankful for that.
It could be so very much worse.
Yesterday I sat and watched Oprah {and nie nie if you don't know who she is you need to go read about her} and bawled while I watched this
{okay its the only clip I could find out there and its only a small part of the show and its got Spanish subtitles...}
But I bawled cause we take so much for granted just the easy things every day are a huge task for Stephanie.
She is an inspiration to everyone of us.
Even on our hardest days they are NOTHING compared to the task of just getting out of bed for her, bathing her little kids,
I felt humbled and more appreciative of my family and all that I do as a wife and mother.
We take so much for granted.
No matter what stage in life we are in.
It could always be worse. look around.
--------------------------
picture courtesy sophie blackall art
and some random thoughts...
Next month is National Adoption month and I always start getting emails and messages about all the upcoming adoption things happening so naturally my mind turns to heavier things like the whole reason I'm involved and blessed by Adoption.
INFERTILITY. That big ugly word.
It makes me so
thankful for family, friends {and blogs} who are going through the same trials as so many of us are, isn't it nice to know that we aren't alone?
Whatever your trial is you are never alone.
Mine happens to be infertility. yours could be something totally different.
But for me its infertility....I've been there. I'm still there after 12 and half years and to know that others feel the EXACT same way.Somehow it makes things a little more tolerable , makes me feel validated or maybe a little more understood in my reactions in the past or my choices.
That I'm not alone.
I remember over the years feeling so bad for having to leave a room when hearing another baby is coming or was just born, another announcement ....and as happy as I was for them it pierced something inside me like a bomb going off, that made it better for me
to leave quietly and sob loudly alone elsewhere.
That's how I handled it because I thought it was best so they could have the excitement they fully deserved. Which to others could be misunderstood for something else but knowing that I'm not the only one who reacted this way that so many others do somehow helps me to feel better?! Or rather not alone.
I have felt strongly twice now that two of my children came at the exact right time for me {all of them but two of them really fast} when a whole bunch of babies were being born around me, baby showers, announcements everywhere..... I think that HE know I would be okay if I had a baby right now and five years ago right at the right time FOR ME.
AT THAT TIME AND THIS ONE.
That I could handle the emotion in me, the pain and the longing.
I always thought just being a mom
would take all the other pain away
it helps yes, but its always still there hidden.
How can it ever really go away? I think it just gets easier to manage and accept over the years. Never easy. We all still have Faith I hope that it will happen and I know there is a plan whether here of after this life.
and I know that we are never alone, ever.
Its hard to want something so bad though always, but some of us almost feel guilty for thinking we just like to get pregnant at least once, but on the other hand feel so blessed to have the babies we do that it feels like its being greedy to want it still does that make sense?? and not being able to do anything about it leaving it up to the Lord is a hard thing.
Feeling so alone or awkward at so many functions family, church where ever..... because you have nothing to share and somehow the topic of discussion with women always turns to labor and delivery.
I have four children yes, I don't take one day for granted when I look in their eyes every morning I am beyond thankful to my Father in Heaven for my KLMK2!
and for each one of their amazing birth parents!
Each month its still something that's there
{tucked away}
like a hovering infertility cloud
{not lately of course... I have a baby}
but I'm getting older and feel like I've learned a lot from the past especially that
we all handle things differently.
I think we all need to be more tolerant of others we don't know what they are going through. We can't take offense so easily that it rots in us for years and we hang onto it.
We have to let it go or we will never be fully happy.
We can't assume we know what others are going through unless we have walked in anothers shoes.
and above all its nice to know we aren't alone our Heavenly Father is always watching over us and He hears us. He will not give us more than we can handle.
He gives us each other.
I've learned that some like to talk about it hash it out. Others keep the pain inside. That's why its nice to know we aren't alone in our actions and thoughts when there are so many out there suffering the same way.
Whether silent or loud.
But I'm so thankful for the empathy and the learning lessons I am
learning every step of the way. We all have a long way to go.
of course. But I still have hopes, dreams, and Faith that
someday
it
might
happen. to. me. too.
But I am at peace right now at this point and time and I am thankful everyday for the trial I have cause who knows what it could have been right?
WE are not alone
in any step of the journey
what ever journey we are on or whatever battle we are facing.
cause everybody is facing some kind of battle everyday....
okay..thats it
HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND!!!
The husband you have {or wife?}
Or maybe just a house to live in or your cat to keep you company.
Or the children you've been blessed to have however they have come to you?
Do you ever sit and ponder how you got to where you are right now?
Ever think about what made you who you are?
Ever think about the choices you've made whether right or wrong got you to where you are right now?
Do you ever sit and think why was I born in this time period?
Why wasn't I born a Jew in Nazi era?
Why wasn't I born a pygmy or whatever?
Why are we where we are?
Because I know we are meant to be just where we are at the time we are supposed to be.
That's why.
and I am so so very thankful for that.
It could be so very much worse.
Yesterday I sat and watched Oprah {and nie nie if you don't know who she is you need to go read about her} and bawled while I watched this
{okay its the only clip I could find out there and its only a small part of the show and its got Spanish subtitles...}
But I bawled cause we take so much for granted just the easy things every day are a huge task for Stephanie.
She is an inspiration to everyone of us.
Even on our hardest days they are NOTHING compared to the task of just getting out of bed for her, bathing her little kids,
I felt humbled and more appreciative of my family and all that I do as a wife and mother.
We take so much for granted.
No matter what stage in life we are in.
It could always be worse. look around.
--------------------------
picture courtesy sophie blackall artand some random thoughts...
Next month is National Adoption month and I always start getting emails and messages about all the upcoming adoption things happening so naturally my mind turns to heavier things like the whole reason I'm involved and blessed by Adoption.
INFERTILITY. That big ugly word.
It makes me so
thankful for family, friends {and blogs} who are going through the same trials as so many of us are, isn't it nice to know that we aren't alone?
Whatever your trial is you are never alone.
Mine happens to be infertility. yours could be something totally different.
But for me its infertility....I've been there. I'm still there after 12 and half years and to know that others feel the EXACT same way.Somehow it makes things a little more tolerable , makes me feel validated or maybe a little more understood in my reactions in the past or my choices.
That I'm not alone.
I remember over the years feeling so bad for having to leave a room when hearing another baby is coming or was just born, another announcement ....and as happy as I was for them it pierced something inside me like a bomb going off, that made it better for me
to leave quietly and sob loudly alone elsewhere.
That's how I handled it because I thought it was best so they could have the excitement they fully deserved. Which to others could be misunderstood for something else but knowing that I'm not the only one who reacted this way that so many others do somehow helps me to feel better?! Or rather not alone.
I have felt strongly twice now that two of my children came at the exact right time for me {all of them but two of them really fast} when a whole bunch of babies were being born around me, baby showers, announcements everywhere..... I think that HE know I would be okay if I had a baby right now and five years ago right at the right time FOR ME.
AT THAT TIME AND THIS ONE.
That I could handle the emotion in me, the pain and the longing.
I always thought just being a mom
would take all the other pain away
it helps yes, but its always still there hidden.
How can it ever really go away? I think it just gets easier to manage and accept over the years. Never easy. We all still have Faith I hope that it will happen and I know there is a plan whether here of after this life.
and I know that we are never alone, ever.
Its hard to want something so bad though always, but some of us almost feel guilty for thinking we just like to get pregnant at least once, but on the other hand feel so blessed to have the babies we do that it feels like its being greedy to want it still does that make sense?? and not being able to do anything about it leaving it up to the Lord is a hard thing.
Feeling so alone or awkward at so many functions family, church where ever..... because you have nothing to share and somehow the topic of discussion with women always turns to labor and delivery.
I have four children yes, I don't take one day for granted when I look in their eyes every morning I am beyond thankful to my Father in Heaven for my KLMK2!
and for each one of their amazing birth parents!
Each month its still something that's there
{tucked away}
like a hovering infertility cloud
{not lately of course... I have a baby}
but I'm getting older and feel like I've learned a lot from the past especially that
we all handle things differently.
I think we all need to be more tolerant of others we don't know what they are going through. We can't take offense so easily that it rots in us for years and we hang onto it.
We have to let it go or we will never be fully happy.
We can't assume we know what others are going through unless we have walked in anothers shoes.
and above all its nice to know we aren't alone our Heavenly Father is always watching over us and He hears us. He will not give us more than we can handle.
He gives us each other.
I've learned that some like to talk about it hash it out. Others keep the pain inside. That's why its nice to know we aren't alone in our actions and thoughts when there are so many out there suffering the same way.
Whether silent or loud.
But I'm so thankful for the empathy and the learning lessons I am
learning every step of the way. We all have a long way to go.of course. But I still have hopes, dreams, and Faith that
someday
it
might
happen. to. me. too.
But I am at peace right now at this point and time and I am thankful everyday for the trial I have cause who knows what it could have been right?
WE are not alone
in any step of the journey
what ever journey we are on or whatever battle we are facing.
cause everybody is facing some kind of battle everyday....
okay..thats it
HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND!!!
16 comments:
Hey, I've never been first to comment before!
Christal, this is I think one of my favourite of your posts ever. We do all have our different challenges, and things could ALWAYS be worse. Me, I don't know if infertility will be mine (because we're not trying, obviously), but I can relate to wanting what other people seem to be blessed with. For me, a huge struggle is being happy for bloggers who keep getting more and more successful, making money by working from home, and I get to feeling (ahem) jealous and down on myself, and really, my blog is fine how it is. Maybe I'll never have more than 100 readers, maybe I'll never make a cent at it, but I like doing it, so I'll keep doing it.
Anyway, it's not as big or life-changing issue as yours, but I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your "confession." I'm glad to know you!
I have cried through your whole post Christal and I don't even care that my makeup has run. A few months ago I thought about the timing of K1 and K2 coming to your family and I too coulod see the hand of the Lord in it. I'm so glad you are in my family. Thank you for this post-the little video of nie nie and all your thoughts were very thought provoking for me. I love you!
I really enjoyed this post today. So many things ring true for me too. Infertility is a beast. I push it away and then women inevitibly talk about labor and delivery (like you said) and it comes right back. My old "friend". But in reality I am thankful for it. It makes me a better mom to my little Zachary everyday. Which makes me a better person. God knew that would happen and I'm so thankful He did.
I love nie nie's blog and loved her on oprah - such an eye opener how much I take for granted. I always think "why" and "what if" too, and why am I so blessed when so many aren't. I love the thankful Thursdays, 'cause for me being thankful I guess makes me want to live better to be "worthy," I guess, of all I have. Make any kind of sense?? You're the best!
Love that picture of those yummy baby feet! And NieNie is amazing. Amazing. And to your stuggle with infertility, such a hard hard thing to endure. Reading your post brings back all those torturous feelings of wanting to be happy for everyone else but that searing pain is always burning in your heart. And now, we have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have 4 beautiful children, but even still, when I hear someone is pregnant it still makes my heart ache a bit, even though I am still happy for them! It's crazy to me that I still feel that, but I guess you're right, it might always be there. And it IS It is nice to know we're not alone. When I was going through all that years ago I thought I was alone, it's been eye-opening to see how many people actually have infertility struggles. Anyway, thank you for your honesty, and for always looking at your blessings and reminding me to do the same. Loves! And happy weekend to you!
What a powerful post, thanks girl for opening up and letting us into your world, even during times of struggle, strength, happiness and thankfulness. We all have our challenge and none of them are easy to face, but we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints are truly blessed. We are so lucky to live in this time, with the gospel on the earth in it fullness and to enjoy it and teach our little ones about a loving heavenly father. Wow we are so blessed. Thanks again for the awesome post. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend :)
Oh my heavens- I am just so THRILLED right now!!! Just after I miscarried in June, I was blog hopping one day and came across your blog. I loved your blog, wrote the address down and sadly, my dear sweet husband who was tring to do me a service by cleaning, accidentally threw it away!!! I was just going to reply to your sweet comment and here you are! Just have to love the blogging world!!! Seriously though, thank you for your thoughtful and kind comment on my blog!!! It so helpful to get support from others that are struggling with the same thing as you. LOVE your recent post by the way. Everything you said touched me and seemed familiar too! You have such a sweet and tender spirit. I can't wait to read future posts and get to know you better. Your little ones by the way- SO ADORABLE!!!!
Amen Christal,
I'm amazed to see all the thoughts and feelings that I have had and am now going through, being put into words. It truly is comforting to know that we are not alone in our struggles... and blessings. Thank you for this post, I needed it.
Christal, Beautifully written as usual! You are so right on! Sure do love ya! I too have had similar feelings lately. LOVED Nienie on Oprah, right there with ya, bawled through it all! What an amazing inspiration she is, just like you!
You are so amazing and such an inspiration to so many. When we got married they told us we had a 0 to 2% chance of having kids. I know about leaving the room to cry......like when my sis in law got prego with her 4th. (4 in 3 1/2 years) She cried cause she was and I cried cause she was! It was the hardest time of my life. I am so thankful that you have been blessed with this beautiful family. You are amazing parents and those babies of yours are so blessed to have you as parents! I watched Oprah too and that was what got me thinking about
What defines us!!!!!
Great post. I really loved Stephanie on Oprah. I admire her strength and courage.
I also appreciate your honesty with infertility and your feelings. It is hard to really realize what people's trials are, but a great reminder that we DO need to be sensitive to other's trials. I remember being pregnant with my second and another mother commenting on post pardum depression and me basically telling her it was a crock. Well, guess who had post pardum with their 2nd. Yup, me. As much hell as it was, I was really greatful (after the fact) to have had it. I think it has helped me to learn that just because WE do not experience it, WE do not go thru it does not make it real and WE need to be more sensitive. Thank-you for the reminder.
Jocelyn
you are a amazing person, and i feel honoured to be able to call you my friend. i think we all need to be reminded that we all have trials in our lives. and we are not the ones to do the judging. i always have to remind my self that what ever i am going through it could always be worse so look on the bright side, but it can be very hard sometimes.
Beautiful and raw post Christal!!!! You are so right. This post of yours is something we all can learn from. NO matter what our trials may be. No one really knows how someone feels during a trial until they themselves have gone through it.
Sometimes I wonder why I chose the trials that I did before coming to earth. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking? LOL! Then I remember that there are others helping us along our path. A Father in Heaven who loves us. And our Savior who suffered the EXACT pain that we did. He TRULY knows how we feel. We are never alone. What an awesome piece of knowledge that is.
You rock girl!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Stay warm! Not looking forward to coming back to COLD Canada. ; )
What a great post! I'm so glad that we don't have to go through our trials alone.
alison those are actually K2's feet! cute eh!
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