{10 on Tuesday ...}

Part of getting back into routine will be getting back to my regular posts on ME THINKS Mondays and THANKFUL Thursdays plus whatever in between :) but I guess thats to be seen right! But I do miss doing them!

So I needed to catch up before school starts tomorrow we had quite the weekend...

 source

1. -our burb broke down way out of town in a field while the whole of us in D's family was getting family pictures in a grain field and grass.....with this many people fun times... here's an example of how many of us there is to work with...it was so hot and bright for their pictures some of them are a little shady ;)

 2.-I got dosed with "pink" applesauce all over in my pink and gray outfit just before the  wedding pictures after the wedding Saturday went to pick up the kids from the babysitter and one of my kids in white decided to slurp some applesauce we needed to get back to the temple before they got out well needless to say I missed them walking out! sad! but true! and this was my quote of the weekend which i put on facebook....

3. "patience is what parents have when there are witnesses"-ha ha 

 
How many of us feel like that eh! I don't have to pretend at home I have plenty of witnesses to notice my impatience...but its all a work in progress right...I have a feeling that its all about to get at least 50% better {{aka SCHOOL!!!}}  I think we all feel a little scattered and ready for some normality ;) whatever that is lol

4. The wedding was beautiful the reception 

 was so fun I think everybody enjoyed it a lot...it was different then the norm and that was fun in itself it was at a lodge, fancier then we were all used too....a { non alcoholic} drink bar the kids thought that was amazing! There was a dj the best dancing fun I've had since we got married it was so FUN!, hor'derves {sp you know what I mean} on little trays being carried around, again the kids thought it was so awesome, Trevor panzak came after ten and played 4 songs for Ryan and Carly as a surprise so that was fun, then they brought out a "late lunch" at 10 so much food! D was the MC and the program was perfect, Carly and Ryan were beautiful and now on there way to Mexico for a week !

It was a beautiful day in almost every way!

5.  I have felt so crazy this summer ...its been a fun fun summer we were constantly busy and camping and boating and making memories. But in the meantime I've kind of felt like I was spiraling out of control ....not being able to workout when I've been used to doing it, even prayers, scriptures everything feels like it took a nosedive and thats so not normal for us. I know its okay that the house has been in a constant upheaval and thats okay... but for me it throws me off and makes me feel like things are falling apart even though they are really just inside I feel that way.  I've felt like the same things that we have been missing was a big reason for so much of the kids fighting and me feeling so impatient does that make sense?

6. This year I feel old I know I'm only 35 but I really do I feel like I'm dragging that I can see more wrinkles, that it takes more to exercise more than I've been doing in the past, I feel like I never have enough time in the day I'm tired its hot...okay that just summer but. I feel like its a big year for changes within myself and feelings....I've been struggling with the same old infertility thoughts and issues lately seems to happen when my babies turn two.... old feelings surface and that hidden ache becomes closer to the top again. I have prayed for 14 years for a miracle and have seen four perfect miracles in my life with my children and I feel  more blessed for that than I could ever express. But it doesn't take away the pain deep down that's been covered for years and years that I've learned through the years to hide and control much better then I did maybe even five years ago. But its still there. All I want is to make and have a little piece of something made by me and D.... is that so wrong to think that? Sometimes it feels like its wrong to think it or say it when I am so blessed through adoption and my four babes....it in no way makes or takes the eternal feelings for the children I have any less by any means or anything, but so often the comments of how the cousins look so much alike or baby so and so looks just like you when you were little, how can you not wish for that hope that someday it might come true. Even if its been almost 15years? There is a plan and I have four little plans that I love more than life itself, but I just wonder if that plan includes the wish I wish more than anything at this point in life. Cause sometimes it feels like your looking at everything upside  down, sideways.... not knowing which is right side up???  

"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

 ....and thats the point I think we all need to come too. Not that it isn't the greatest test too.

7. love this I shared it on face book but its an accurate description of some days ha ha...

 8. Some summer highlights for us....so much fun.....

9.  I'm learning that in life nothing is constant especially true with my calling as primary president the biggest issues are keeping teachers and relying on others to do there job to make mine easier pretty much...but I've learned a ton and stretched beyond what I thought I could ever do. I work with amazing girls and am so thankful for each of them we work so well together and help each other fill in the gaps along the way!! Couldn't do it without them!

10. I hate night terrors. breaks my heart. Happened again.

Have a GREAT week.